Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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