I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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