It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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