So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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