my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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