AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize