also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize