He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize