i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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