I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I will pee on everything he values.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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