You're so nebulous sometimes
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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