i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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