I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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