he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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