What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
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People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
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You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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