Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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