I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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