Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
someone owes me an orgasm
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Randomize