Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize