why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize