I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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