Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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