watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
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