nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
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Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
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Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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