If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
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He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
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Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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