I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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