Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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