its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
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She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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