Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize