Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
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I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
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It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I woke up under a house in Key West
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