the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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