this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Damn victory sex feels great
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