Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize