Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
only you would photoshop your dick
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
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He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
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Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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