no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize