I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize