Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize