We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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