My room smells like vodka and shame
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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