Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
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