pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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