Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize