Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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