i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
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I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
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official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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