its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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