Me. At least after what I've been through.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
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It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
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Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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