I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize