Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize