So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
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Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
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how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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