Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
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dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
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THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
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