i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
My penis needs a shock collar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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